I am an idiot

I'm trying to add digg, etc. buttons to all of this crap, but they currently look ridiculous.

Special Winnipeg Edition

It will surprise few of my readers to learn that I was born and spent the first 19 years of my life in and around Winnipeg, Manitoba (I say it will surprise few of them because the majority of my readers are part of my immediate family). Every Christmas since leaving this shining example of urban decay, I've returned to it and this Christmas was no exception.

Winnipeg offers one in search of quiet lounging and coffee little variety. Every time I return, I search in vain for some hidden gem.
Despite my failure in this, it may prove useful to someone someday (or better yet, give me an excuse to write some stuff) to advise potential visitors to Winnipeg in how to negotiate the difficulties associated with finding a nice coffee shop in Winnipeg.
Unsurprisingly, the most available coffee shop in Winnipeg is Starbucks. Somewhat more surprisingly, Starbucks is probably the best, if only by virtue of its coffee alone. If, for some reason, you are in Winnipeg for a short period of time, settle for Starbucks. You'll find no locally-coloured alternative.

If, however, you find yourself in the city for a whole 15 days (December 19th 'til January 4th, for example) you may get tired of Starbucks and be willing to tolerate inferior coffee in order to escape the chubby girls and their Clay-Aiken friend from the nearest high school. Should you find yourself in such a situation, you have two major options: Second Cup and The Fyxx.

Both are far less accessible than Starbucks: I believe the Fyxx has 4 locations throughout the city and Second Cup has 3.

The Fyxx is the natural choice of Winnipeg's university students, attracted as they are to spelling errors and heroin references. Of its 4 locations, 3 are located within a 10 minute walk of each other. I visited only one of these, located in Winnipeg's old commercial district which is now full of night clubs and pseudo-designer clothing stores. This particular Fyxx is not an inviting place and I suspect it is only in business because the only other cafe in the area is possibly the worst in Western Canada (the last time I went to the latter, there was an old porn magazine lying on the table we sat at).

Whatever its other faults, The Fyxx can hardly be blamed for its uninviting exterior. The space it occupies was surely not designed for its current use: It was more likely an office, and, though it may not be suited to retail or restaurant use, it is a fine building, typical of those in the area, with brick walls and an ornate (for this century and country) stone facade.

Nor is the interior without merit. There are high, moulded tin ceilings and more windows than one might expect in a space of its intended use and period. These few qualities, however, do not compensate for the Fyxx's many deficiencies. Whether for practical reasons, or in an attempt to make the place cozy, the Fyxx is badly underlit. The little daylight that reaches it is scarcely enhanced by the dim scattered points of illumination. This condition of dimness is made worse by the walls, which are painted the colour of a partially-healed wound. As if in warning, a painting depicting two nude figures lounging on a sofa, surrounded by floating a Greek alphabet hangs at the entrance. "Beware," it seems to say, "you are about to enter a rural 10th grade drama student's idea of a cool place."

Nor is the coffee, service or food an exception to the theme of slightly pretentious indifference. Do not be surprised to find yourself longing for the affected gaiety of the Starbucks barista.

Suffice it to say I do not like this branch of the Fyxx. I should note, though, that each location appears, from the outside, to be entirely different to the others.

The other option for one wishing to avoid Starbucks in Winnipeg is Second Cup, largely found in malls. Because it is a franchise, I cannot condemn all Second Cup stores, having only visited one, but I'll bet the roast, which is consistent among them is enough to ensure an unsatisfactory cup, (second or first), wherever you are.

This Christmas I visited a Second Cup store which I have known since long before I had ever tasted coffee, in downtown Winnipeg, across from the Royal Winnipeg Ballet.

On this particular day, it was well-supplied with customers, many of them North Africans (at least they appeared so to me - I didn't ask any of them where they came from). At one table near the window, a group of men, middle-aged and seemingly North African, sat talking animatedly the way old Italian men can sometimes till be seen doing on Commercial drive.

I was so pleased to be in the midst of something like a community - in Winnipeg! - that it hardly occurred to me that my espresso was acidic and burnt. Whether downtown Winnipeg is on the verge of a revival thanks to the North African community or I was just fortunate enough to visit this place on a day which left me with that impression, I can't say. Whatever the case, Second Cup is an acceptable place to visit while touring Winnipeg's bizarre downtown.

The rest of the locations, mostly in malls, as I mentioned, should probably be forsaken in favour of a Starbucks, which, in malls, often have the advantage of being surrounded by a bookstore.